So I don't find it very fair that my brain tends to go really deep when it's late and I'm in bed and I'm trying to go to sleep. Nevertheless, that's where I find myself tonight. I should be dead tired and falling asleep quite easily.
Last night right after my wife went upstairs to go to bed, I was downstairs in the kitchen cleaning out the humidifier. She told me that she was feeling a bit under the weather and with running the heat I thought it would help a little to run the humidifier. So, as I was in the kitchen, a little 4 yr old (my oldest daughter) came peeking around the corner. She had already been in bed for a couple of hours so I asked her what she was doing up. "I need a drink of water." I told her ok but it was gonna be just a minute while I was finishing up what I was doing. That was fine by her so she sat down on the floor just at the entry of the kitchen. As I was finishing up, I heard a strange noise from her and looked over. She looked at me with a playful look on her face and I thought she was just making cute little noises with her mouth. I turned away to finish up and just a few seconds later she spewed. All over the floor. Well I overreacted like I usually do and said something like, "Oh wow! Oh man, wow! There it is!" to which my wife called down asking what happened. When I didn't answer she quickly came downstairs just in time to see her first born unload for a second time on the tile floor.
Throughout the night my oldest child threw up multiple times, keeping all three of us up most of the evening and early morning. We were scheduled to go out of town today and visit grandparents and great grandparents, but now that was out of the question. I have a strict "do not travel with vomiting children" policy. So we stayed at home and did nothing - it was great. Except that most of mine and my wife's attention was spent watching a close eye on my 4 yr old to make sure we heard not gurgling sounds and feeding her very bland and safe food.
We made it through the day and most took naps, well all took naps but I took the shortest at about 30 minutes. I don't really feel like I accomplished anything today, but I did spend some QT with the fam.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Safe Place to Fail
I find myself using these four words more often these days. But the question remains, do you have a safe place to fail?
Let me explain. I fancy myself in the business of training people. I say to them that I want to provide for them a safe place to fail. Hopefully this takes a little of the pressure to be perfect off of them and my expectations. Is anyone perfect? No. Am I? Not always. Ha! That's a joke. Anyway, I actually stole this saying from Brady Boyd years ago when he was leading a small group for men early on Thursday mornings at Gateway Church. He was talking about hearing God and lifting each other up. He explained that many times we don't speak into other people's lives because we are afraid we will get it wrong, so we just don't say anything. He went on to say that that small group was, say it with me now, a safe place to fail. He urged us to all have a little grace with each other and really try to hear God and use what we felt we heard from God to speak into each others lives and encourage each other.
Now I use that phrase when talking to people about ministry. I recently said it to my intern about my expectations of him. I told him that I expect him to screw up. Not screw up like you just killed a kid, but screw up like you said something the wrong way to a parent or a volunteer. I want to provide an atmosphere for him where he gets his hands dirty and learns how to make decisions and gets some experience. I don't give all the control, just enough to make him sweat for it. When he does mess up a little, it's a safe place for me to come alongside him and talk about it and analyze what went wrong. I don't dismiss it, I discuss it. It's not necessarily confrontation and it's not awkward. It's working through it. Then I set higher expectations because of his newly added experience.
A safe place to fail. I love it. My boss does it for me and it creates a lot more freedom to be me and make decisions. I get to celebrate the successes and learn from the failures. Create some safe places for the people in your life.
Let me explain. I fancy myself in the business of training people. I say to them that I want to provide for them a safe place to fail. Hopefully this takes a little of the pressure to be perfect off of them and my expectations. Is anyone perfect? No. Am I? Not always. Ha! That's a joke. Anyway, I actually stole this saying from Brady Boyd years ago when he was leading a small group for men early on Thursday mornings at Gateway Church. He was talking about hearing God and lifting each other up. He explained that many times we don't speak into other people's lives because we are afraid we will get it wrong, so we just don't say anything. He went on to say that that small group was, say it with me now, a safe place to fail. He urged us to all have a little grace with each other and really try to hear God and use what we felt we heard from God to speak into each others lives and encourage each other.
Now I use that phrase when talking to people about ministry. I recently said it to my intern about my expectations of him. I told him that I expect him to screw up. Not screw up like you just killed a kid, but screw up like you said something the wrong way to a parent or a volunteer. I want to provide an atmosphere for him where he gets his hands dirty and learns how to make decisions and gets some experience. I don't give all the control, just enough to make him sweat for it. When he does mess up a little, it's a safe place for me to come alongside him and talk about it and analyze what went wrong. I don't dismiss it, I discuss it. It's not necessarily confrontation and it's not awkward. It's working through it. Then I set higher expectations because of his newly added experience.
A safe place to fail. I love it. My boss does it for me and it creates a lot more freedom to be me and make decisions. I get to celebrate the successes and learn from the failures. Create some safe places for the people in your life.
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