People need validation; we all do. As a leader, especially a spiritual leader, it is important to express to others how important they are. You do a great service to someone when you validate them and let them know how special they are to you and to the work God has called all of us to do.
(I will admit, I'm not very good at this. Maybe it comes from a certain sense of insecurity. I think about doing it all the time, but my follow through is rough. I love it when others validate me, but I don't do it for others enough. Oh how I would love to create and cultivate a culture around me where people were validated and honored regularly!)
It has been said many times by many people that we love to hear our own name. This is true on different levels. It has been researched that people's brain activity is greater when they hear their own name. Honestly, who doesn't like to hear their own name? It's like being picked in kickball when you were a kid or winning a drawing for a prize. It evokes emotions and feelings based on the fact that you are being recognized or even known. We read in the Bible (Matthew 3:13-17) that God the Father spoke and validated Jesus when Jesus was baptized. Did Jesus need validation? I'm gonna guess that He was pretty secure in His identity, but the Father deemed it important enough to let Jesus know that He was pleased with His Son.
But even in the instance in Matthew 3, I think God's validation was more than just for Jesus - It was also for the people around Him. You see, God the Father did not do this in private. He did not do it in silence or just so that only Jesus could hear and see Him. He did it on display so that others around Jesus could see and hear that God the Father called Jesus His Son, and that He was well pleased with Him.
People need to hear that they are important. They need to hear that from you. You need to do it in public, not just in private. Others need to know that you have faith in that person. Such assurance makes people a little more faithful, walk a little taller, feel a little more special. Yes, even with the chance of being a little embarrassing, but do it with honor and tact. You never fully know what it will do for people when you validate them in public. They may have never heard a parent say that they are proud of them, may have never heard a parent say "I love you". It's important to get into the habit of honoring people. It's important to speak life into them. Isn't that what God does for us? Isn't that what love is about? Yes, it is. Let's model that to and for others.
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Thursday, September 12, 2013
Top Ten
I have a Top Ten list. I know, it may sound a little cheesy, but I do. I've been doing youth ministry for a long time (since '94) and there are a few things I've learned along the way. A few years ago I traveled to India with a fellow pastor and while there we were scheduled to speak to some local youth leaders in Mumbai. A few hours before we were to speak to these leaders, my friend informed me that I need to come up with something to say. I was caught off guard as I thought he was going to be the one speaking to them. He mentioned something like I should do a list of the most important things I've learned in youth ministry, or something like that. Ok, I grew up watching David Letterman and his Top ten lists, so I'll do my own top ten list. On the spot I created and then somewhat refined a Top Ten list of the most important things I've learned in youth ministry. I have since gone back to it, reworked it, and taught on it several times. Is it comprehensive? Absolutely not. But it does get to the core of some of the most important things God has taught me over the years. Now, if I were to really take my time and think about the things I have learned I could come up with a bigger list, but I think I shall leave that until another day. If you get to the end of my Ten and need more (obviously), I strongly recommend Bill Hybels Axiom. Excellent read.
So in the following days and weeks, I will do my best to roll our my Top Ten things I have learned in Youth Ministry.
So in the following days and weeks, I will do my best to roll our my Top Ten things I have learned in Youth Ministry.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Remember
This week is my 5th anniversary of being on staff at Gateway Church. These last 5 years have been the best years of my life. It's not that I feel I have arrived, but I have grown so much and been blessed beyond measure as men of God have spoken and poured into my life. My family has grown and enriched my life in a way that I never could have imagined. I have learned so much about myself, been healed from so much, and learned (still learning) how to lead. I would go on and on but pages could be filled with what has happened in my life over the last 5 years.
But this whole process did not begin 5 years ago, I would say it has been my whole adult life. Actually, even when I was a teenager. God began preparing me for today a long time ago.
So this week I remember.
Deuteronomy 8 (the whole chapter) is a call to the nation of Israel to remember. To remember that even though they were in the wilderness, God was with them the whole time, leading them and providing for them. He fed them with manna and taught them that they live because of Him, not from their own hand. And, I love this, that for forty years "your clothes didn't wear out, and your feet didn't blister or swell."
You see, I've had wilderness experiences, and I struggled through them. I even complained while wandering just like the Israelites did. But today, as I remember, I was provided for, taught valuable lessons, and did not wear out. He was with me in my wilderness.
That's important for me to remember today, because just last week I was complaining. If you read later on in Deuteronomy 8 (vs 11-17) the Lord tells them to be careful and not forget the Lord when they enter the land of plenty. Remember who you were, when you were a slave in Egypt. Remember where you were, in the terrifying wilderness with many dangers. Remember that He has always provided and taken care of you.
What do you need to remember this week?
Are you going through the wilderness now? Make sure you remember later on. He's with you and He's teaching you.
But this whole process did not begin 5 years ago, I would say it has been my whole adult life. Actually, even when I was a teenager. God began preparing me for today a long time ago.
So this week I remember.
Deuteronomy 8 (the whole chapter) is a call to the nation of Israel to remember. To remember that even though they were in the wilderness, God was with them the whole time, leading them and providing for them. He fed them with manna and taught them that they live because of Him, not from their own hand. And, I love this, that for forty years "your clothes didn't wear out, and your feet didn't blister or swell."
You see, I've had wilderness experiences, and I struggled through them. I even complained while wandering just like the Israelites did. But today, as I remember, I was provided for, taught valuable lessons, and did not wear out. He was with me in my wilderness.
That's important for me to remember today, because just last week I was complaining. If you read later on in Deuteronomy 8 (vs 11-17) the Lord tells them to be careful and not forget the Lord when they enter the land of plenty. Remember who you were, when you were a slave in Egypt. Remember where you were, in the terrifying wilderness with many dangers. Remember that He has always provided and taken care of you.
What do you need to remember this week?
Are you going through the wilderness now? Make sure you remember later on. He's with you and He's teaching you.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Words Matter
When I was a teenager, my father encouraged me and my brother to think about what we said before we said it. Simple enough. We needed to let the words roll around in our brain before we released them from our mouth. Comedians have joked about it and proverbs have been written about it; our words matter. Yet we carelessly fling them out like they were disposable drops of water. But just as water can be a formidable force to be reckoned with, we should be mindful of not just our thoughts but also of the words we speak.
Think about it, what does it look like to be a good steward of your words? Jesus stewarded His words. He knew that the words He spoke would be discussed and dissected for thousands of years by millions of people. I'm sure He chose His words wisely. Every word of His that is recorded had a place and a meaning. I'm willing to bet that even the ones we don't know about were just as meaningful.
How about this: Lawyers choose their statements beforehand because they know that the specific words they use and the way they use them can literally influence lives. Judgements depend on them (words and use of words). Let that sink in.
Guess what? Decisions and lives depend on your words. Choose and steward them wisely so that life will be produced by what you say.
Proverbs !8:21
Think about it, what does it look like to be a good steward of your words? Jesus stewarded His words. He knew that the words He spoke would be discussed and dissected for thousands of years by millions of people. I'm sure He chose His words wisely. Every word of His that is recorded had a place and a meaning. I'm willing to bet that even the ones we don't know about were just as meaningful.
How about this: Lawyers choose their statements beforehand because they know that the specific words they use and the way they use them can literally influence lives. Judgements depend on them (words and use of words). Let that sink in.
Guess what? Decisions and lives depend on your words. Choose and steward them wisely so that life will be produced by what you say.
Proverbs !8:21
Monday, January 16, 2012
Beyond Life Changing
So have you seen the show Undercover Boss? It's a gamble but so far in two seasons it's been pretty good. We just watched one last night that we had on the DVR where this guy owned a timeshare resort company and boy was this guy "larger than life". He looked and lived like he was trying to compete with Donald Trump. (here's his show) So anyway, this guy really knew how to throw around money. Usually what these guys get (or what you hope they do) is that its not always about making money but its about people and they get a change of perspective and a change of heart about how they run the company and see their employees. I really like it when that happens. Well, on this episode this guy has a huge ego and wanted to go undercover to see how his company was doing. If you ask me he did the show to promote his business (of course). He works undercover with several of his employees all around the country in which he uses his private jet to get around. At the end he invites these employees to one of his private beach houses to go over everything he saw and experienced. With each one of them he threw around a lot of money, I mean a lot of money. He even paid off one guy's mortgage.
Well one young lady that he met with came away from this meeting and described it as "beyond life changing." That statement struck me. Now I know, she was young and still in college, therefore prone to exaggerate. But beyond life changing? The guy gave her a load of cash. Beyond life changing?
Maybe it just challenged me. Are we in ministry really trying to change people's lives? I'm not all about shock and awe at church, and I know that discipleship is a process, but when I read in the Bible about people's interactions with Christ, they were life changing events/conversations. I guess a real "beyond life changing" experience would be one that changes eternity. God can definitely handle that.
Lord, help me to have "beyond life changing" interactions with people.
Well one young lady that he met with came away from this meeting and described it as "beyond life changing." That statement struck me. Now I know, she was young and still in college, therefore prone to exaggerate. But beyond life changing? The guy gave her a load of cash. Beyond life changing?
Maybe it just challenged me. Are we in ministry really trying to change people's lives? I'm not all about shock and awe at church, and I know that discipleship is a process, but when I read in the Bible about people's interactions with Christ, they were life changing events/conversations. I guess a real "beyond life changing" experience would be one that changes eternity. God can definitely handle that.
Lord, help me to have "beyond life changing" interactions with people.
Useless
1 Corinthians 15:58
So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and immovable. Always work enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless.
As I read this verse this morning, one work jumped out at me: useless. It is the very last word in the verse, but carries with it a lot of weight. Surely there have been things I have done in the name of ministry that felt very useless. In retrospect, I realize that anything that has ever felt useless afterwards, I have done some with vigor and some with just an ounce of energy.
You see, that last phrase, "...nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless." can be hard to believe. Of course we want everything we do for the Lord to be the best, but in our imperfect and busy world, a lot of the times He gets the short end of the stick. We look back at our work and think, "it wasn't my best but I tried on what fuel and time I had. Next time will be the best!" only to find ourselves in the same predicament later on. Let's look at 2 options:
1. That last statement depends on the one just previous to it. The previous phrase from the same sentence says "Always work enthusiastically for the Lord". True enthusiasm requires a belief in what you are doing, that it really matters and the cause is worthwhile. Too many times we have labored in vain "for the Lord", that is, our efforts are done from a mindset of unbelief. We are simply going through the motions. We are putting in the "work" so we can check the box on a list of chores that we perform begrudgingly. By the way, the Lord never gave us a list of chores. That whole thought process is legalism and it kills any kind of enthusiasm we may have in what we do for the Lord. When we believe that we can make a difference and that the Lord will do great things in people's lives, our enthusiasm goes through the roof! Then it doesn't matter what our talents or skills are. It doesn't matter if we are short on time, which brings me to the second point:
2. You don't work as if the results depend on you. Of course anything we do for the Lord is never useless! When we join our faith in Him with the work of our hands, we release the power of God (not the power of work or ourselves) and great things do happen. It doesn't even matter if we see the results. It is not useless. That's the kind of thought that the enemy attacks us with. You need to hear God say, "I wish you could see what I see!" The result could happen immediately on the inside of someone's heart or it could happen a year from now when we are removed from the circumstance. God will use anything and everything He can to reach His lost children and save them and heal them. It is true that faith without works is dead (James 2:14-24) and vice versa. It may be a good work, but imagine the life that you can attach to your work when you apply your faith in God to move mountains! You may not be able to move a mountain on your own, but you and God working together? All things are possible to him that believes (Matthew 19:26)! Remember, when God is involved it is never useless.
So don't let the Devil use that against you. Don't let him have your enthusiasm. Be encouraged by this scripture and work enthusiastically today for the Lord, it makes an eternal difference!
So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and immovable. Always work enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless.
As I read this verse this morning, one work jumped out at me: useless. It is the very last word in the verse, but carries with it a lot of weight. Surely there have been things I have done in the name of ministry that felt very useless. In retrospect, I realize that anything that has ever felt useless afterwards, I have done some with vigor and some with just an ounce of energy.
You see, that last phrase, "...nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless." can be hard to believe. Of course we want everything we do for the Lord to be the best, but in our imperfect and busy world, a lot of the times He gets the short end of the stick. We look back at our work and think, "it wasn't my best but I tried on what fuel and time I had. Next time will be the best!" only to find ourselves in the same predicament later on. Let's look at 2 options:
1. That last statement depends on the one just previous to it. The previous phrase from the same sentence says "Always work enthusiastically for the Lord". True enthusiasm requires a belief in what you are doing, that it really matters and the cause is worthwhile. Too many times we have labored in vain "for the Lord", that is, our efforts are done from a mindset of unbelief. We are simply going through the motions. We are putting in the "work" so we can check the box on a list of chores that we perform begrudgingly. By the way, the Lord never gave us a list of chores. That whole thought process is legalism and it kills any kind of enthusiasm we may have in what we do for the Lord. When we believe that we can make a difference and that the Lord will do great things in people's lives, our enthusiasm goes through the roof! Then it doesn't matter what our talents or skills are. It doesn't matter if we are short on time, which brings me to the second point:
2. You don't work as if the results depend on you. Of course anything we do for the Lord is never useless! When we join our faith in Him with the work of our hands, we release the power of God (not the power of work or ourselves) and great things do happen. It doesn't even matter if we see the results. It is not useless. That's the kind of thought that the enemy attacks us with. You need to hear God say, "I wish you could see what I see!" The result could happen immediately on the inside of someone's heart or it could happen a year from now when we are removed from the circumstance. God will use anything and everything He can to reach His lost children and save them and heal them. It is true that faith without works is dead (James 2:14-24) and vice versa. It may be a good work, but imagine the life that you can attach to your work when you apply your faith in God to move mountains! You may not be able to move a mountain on your own, but you and God working together? All things are possible to him that believes (Matthew 19:26)! Remember, when God is involved it is never useless.
So don't let the Devil use that against you. Don't let him have your enthusiasm. Be encouraged by this scripture and work enthusiastically today for the Lord, it makes an eternal difference!
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Run Your Race
When I was in 7th grade I decided to run track. I tried football, but my small school in the sticks of South Arkansas did not have pads and helmets small enough to fit me. That made for a terrible football experience. I remember specifically one practice where the coach told me to run out 15 yards and then turn quickly and catch the ball. As I ran out and counted off 15 yards I turned my head to see the oncoming ball. The helmet was so big on my head that it did not turn all the way with my head. So since I could not see anything I most certainly did not see the football coming at me. Like I said, not a good experience.
I tried out basketball. Skinny white kid of average height. I know, I know, get to know the fundamentals. Learn to dribble the ball, pass, and shoot the ball. Well, no excuses. I just wasn't a good basketball player. I had plenty of time "riding the pine". The only time I actually got any playing time was when our team was either ahead by 50 points or behind by 50 points and the game was almost over. At that point there really wasn't anything I could do to influence the game in a negative way. Oh yeah? Well I made it my mission to leave my mark. Once there was only a minute left on the clock and my name was called up by the coach, I was in. My mission was clear; It wasn't to score 100 points to win the game, or to assist the guy that could. No, mine was much more sinister. I was going to foul out in a minute or less. Sometimes it worked and sometimes I only made the other players mad. Oh well, I gotta be me.
But you see, the problem was, I wasn't being me!
Let me explain. My brother, older than me by 4 years, was great at every sport he played. I grew up with my father telling me I had more natural talent than my brother. God bless my dad, he was great at encouraging me and speaking good and positive things into me, but more natural talent? Surely he was mistaken. I had plotted my course to follow in my brother's footsteps and do what he did well. You read previously how football and basketball went - not good. In our small school the only thing left was to run track. How hard could this be? All you had to do was run. Run! I was a younger brother - of course I knew how to run! I had been training for this my whole life running from an older brother! Now, what I haven't told you is that my brother was great at running the 800 meter, or for the layman, the half mile. In fact, the last 3 years of high school he made it to the state track meet and placed either 1st or 2nd each time! It occurred to me and the other coaches that Kevin Morrison's younger brother would be great at the half mile also.
I hated it. It was two full laps around the track and they were murder. I started running that race every year starting in 7th grade all the way through my sophomore year. Each year was terrible. I never did any good in that stupid race.
Fast forward to my junior year in High School. As a family we had moved to a new state and therefore a new school. Of course when track season came around I joined the team and guess what race I told the coach I wanted to run? Yep, the 800 meter. Why? That was all I knew, all I had ever run. I wasn't good at it but it was familiar and I had become comfortable being less than mediocre. Well this year all my friends were sprinters and after I would do my 800 workout I would join up with them and run the sprint workouts just for fun. After all, it was just a short distance. I also practiced with them the hand-offs for the relay when one of their team members had to be out or do something else.
I will never forget the track meet in Branson that season. It was probably about the 3rd meet of the season and I had been bugging coach to let me change races so that I could run with my friends and do sprints. He'd told me no because we had all the sprinters we needed and he wanted me to run the 800. Anyway, we were at the Branson meet and one of the sprinters on the relay team sprained his ankle. All my friends looked at me and asked me to replace him. We would obviously have to clear this with coach. We ran up the bleachers and begged him to let me run with the relay team. He was resistant at first, but realizing that he did not want the team to have to forfeit all of the relay races that night, he gave in and told me I could fill in on the second leg of the relay but just for that night. We ran down to the field and did a last minute practice run with our hand-offs to make sure we could pull it off. When it cam time for the race we all lined up and the butterflies went crazy in my stomach. I was totally used to track meets but this was different. I was excited to run. I didn't have that feeling of dread, knowing that I was going to be terrible and lose. I had something to prove here, something to win for. Well the gun went off that the race begin. I remember standing on the other side of the field watching our first leg runner race around the corner coming towards me to hand off the baton. This was real. This was really happening and I was going to have to take off in a matter of seconds. It all comes down to this. I had to concentrate, take off at just the right time and give it my all. The runner hit the mark I had established and I turned to face down the track and took off. Half a second later I heard him shout "Hand!" and I shot out my left hand behind my back to receive the baton as he handed the race to me. I grabbed it and ran on my toes as hard as I could for 100 yards. The whole time there was no one beside me - we were winning! I handed off the baton perfectly and then watched the remaining two legs of our relay team as they brought us a first place. What was this? We won? We won! I had been part of this and we won! I ran across the field to the finish line and rejoiced with my teammates. When I found out our times I learned that I had run a faster time that the sprinter I replaced! What was this?! I was actually good at something, and a sporting event at that! I ran up to the bleachers, looked at my coach who had been watching and said, "Can I run sprints now?!" He slowly nodded his head with a sly grin and said yes.
Now, you've read through that whole story just so I could tell you this - The whole time up until then, for the previous 4 years, I had been running someone else's race. I had not been running my race. I had not searched out where I was supposed to be. I had just assumed that what someone else had done before me was exactly what I was supposed to do. And because of that I had not reached my potential. I had become comfortable with being less that mediocre and accepted that as my fate. It wasn't until I had stepped into my own race and actually started running it did I realize what my race was. Then I was able to find joy and a sense of accomplishment in the race that I ran.
Let me ask you: Are you running someone else's race? Have you settled for less than mediocre? Do you need to start running your own race today?
I tried out basketball. Skinny white kid of average height. I know, I know, get to know the fundamentals. Learn to dribble the ball, pass, and shoot the ball. Well, no excuses. I just wasn't a good basketball player. I had plenty of time "riding the pine". The only time I actually got any playing time was when our team was either ahead by 50 points or behind by 50 points and the game was almost over. At that point there really wasn't anything I could do to influence the game in a negative way. Oh yeah? Well I made it my mission to leave my mark. Once there was only a minute left on the clock and my name was called up by the coach, I was in. My mission was clear; It wasn't to score 100 points to win the game, or to assist the guy that could. No, mine was much more sinister. I was going to foul out in a minute or less. Sometimes it worked and sometimes I only made the other players mad. Oh well, I gotta be me.
But you see, the problem was, I wasn't being me!
Let me explain. My brother, older than me by 4 years, was great at every sport he played. I grew up with my father telling me I had more natural talent than my brother. God bless my dad, he was great at encouraging me and speaking good and positive things into me, but more natural talent? Surely he was mistaken. I had plotted my course to follow in my brother's footsteps and do what he did well. You read previously how football and basketball went - not good. In our small school the only thing left was to run track. How hard could this be? All you had to do was run. Run! I was a younger brother - of course I knew how to run! I had been training for this my whole life running from an older brother! Now, what I haven't told you is that my brother was great at running the 800 meter, or for the layman, the half mile. In fact, the last 3 years of high school he made it to the state track meet and placed either 1st or 2nd each time! It occurred to me and the other coaches that Kevin Morrison's younger brother would be great at the half mile also.
I hated it. It was two full laps around the track and they were murder. I started running that race every year starting in 7th grade all the way through my sophomore year. Each year was terrible. I never did any good in that stupid race.
Fast forward to my junior year in High School. As a family we had moved to a new state and therefore a new school. Of course when track season came around I joined the team and guess what race I told the coach I wanted to run? Yep, the 800 meter. Why? That was all I knew, all I had ever run. I wasn't good at it but it was familiar and I had become comfortable being less than mediocre. Well this year all my friends were sprinters and after I would do my 800 workout I would join up with them and run the sprint workouts just for fun. After all, it was just a short distance. I also practiced with them the hand-offs for the relay when one of their team members had to be out or do something else.
I will never forget the track meet in Branson that season. It was probably about the 3rd meet of the season and I had been bugging coach to let me change races so that I could run with my friends and do sprints. He'd told me no because we had all the sprinters we needed and he wanted me to run the 800. Anyway, we were at the Branson meet and one of the sprinters on the relay team sprained his ankle. All my friends looked at me and asked me to replace him. We would obviously have to clear this with coach. We ran up the bleachers and begged him to let me run with the relay team. He was resistant at first, but realizing that he did not want the team to have to forfeit all of the relay races that night, he gave in and told me I could fill in on the second leg of the relay but just for that night. We ran down to the field and did a last minute practice run with our hand-offs to make sure we could pull it off. When it cam time for the race we all lined up and the butterflies went crazy in my stomach. I was totally used to track meets but this was different. I was excited to run. I didn't have that feeling of dread, knowing that I was going to be terrible and lose. I had something to prove here, something to win for. Well the gun went off that the race begin. I remember standing on the other side of the field watching our first leg runner race around the corner coming towards me to hand off the baton. This was real. This was really happening and I was going to have to take off in a matter of seconds. It all comes down to this. I had to concentrate, take off at just the right time and give it my all. The runner hit the mark I had established and I turned to face down the track and took off. Half a second later I heard him shout "Hand!" and I shot out my left hand behind my back to receive the baton as he handed the race to me. I grabbed it and ran on my toes as hard as I could for 100 yards. The whole time there was no one beside me - we were winning! I handed off the baton perfectly and then watched the remaining two legs of our relay team as they brought us a first place. What was this? We won? We won! I had been part of this and we won! I ran across the field to the finish line and rejoiced with my teammates. When I found out our times I learned that I had run a faster time that the sprinter I replaced! What was this?! I was actually good at something, and a sporting event at that! I ran up to the bleachers, looked at my coach who had been watching and said, "Can I run sprints now?!" He slowly nodded his head with a sly grin and said yes.
Now, you've read through that whole story just so I could tell you this - The whole time up until then, for the previous 4 years, I had been running someone else's race. I had not been running my race. I had not searched out where I was supposed to be. I had just assumed that what someone else had done before me was exactly what I was supposed to do. And because of that I had not reached my potential. I had become comfortable with being less that mediocre and accepted that as my fate. It wasn't until I had stepped into my own race and actually started running it did I realize what my race was. Then I was able to find joy and a sense of accomplishment in the race that I ran.
Let me ask you: Are you running someone else's race? Have you settled for less than mediocre? Do you need to start running your own race today?
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